What Do You Expect?

What follows is a list of common expectations that describe "The Perfect Preacher." Lists like this one circulate around and are funny only because they touch a nerve.  

1. The perfect preacher preaches exactly 10 minutes. 
2. He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone's feelings. 
3. He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor. 
4. He makes $400 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $300 a week to the church.
5. He is 32 years old and has 40 years experience. 
6. He never forgets a name and spends most of his time praying to God. He remembers everyone's birthdate and of course, their anniversary dates as well.
7. He also knows when somebody is sick and needs visitation even without anyone telling him about it. 
8. He loves to spend time with his family and the has no problem with you dropping in unexpectedly. 
9. He also spends most of his time in preparation to speak God's Word. 
10. Before and after services, he never fails to speak to each person present and will also take the time to listen to you for 15 minutes and pray for each person no less than 10 minutes after listening to them. 
11. The perfect preacher eats nutritiously, gets his rest, exercises daily, and is always there to listen to you night or day. 
12. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens. 
13. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church. 
14. He makes 15 home visits a day, is always in his office to be handy when needed and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched. 
15. He spends all day each Saturday preparing the Sunday sermon, and he focuses on his family too. 

Now for a serious question: What do you expect from the preacher where you worship?  Preachers, how well are you doing as a servant of God and His people?


Leave your comments!


Scott

Where I Used to Go to Church

Someone recently reminded me of a story of a man who spent five years isolated on a deserted island. When rescued those rescuing him noticed three straw huts, and asked him what they were. "That first one," he said pointing, "is my house." "The last one over there is where I go to church, and the one in the middle is where I used to go, but we had a split over what the preacher was being paid."

It is sad that Christians will let simple things of likes and dislikes, the opinions of others, or financial disagreements get in the way of their walk with God. There may be a right time to look for a new church home, but too many of us swap churches quicker that we change automobiles. Before we leave a congregation where we invested so much time and energy, we ought to try to get along.

Jesus said the world would know His disciples by their love (Jn 13:35). Leaving in a tiff, does not demonstrate love.

Jesus also taught conflict resolution,

• "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Mat 5:23-24)
• "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." (Mat 18:15-17)

Notice that Jesus teaches that whether I am the offended or the offender that I am the one to make the first step is seeking reconciliation. It is always my turn as God's child to try to work things out.

Take time to study through these verses again, and pray for the strength to put them into practice.

Scott

Top Ten Children's Questions to God

And now today's Top Ten list is from the files in Parrish, Alabama. Top Ten Children's Questions to God.

10. When you got elected, did you get all the votes?
9. Why isn't Mrs. God's name mentioned in the Bible? Were you not married to her when you wrote it?
8. There were no clouds on Saturday and I think I saw your feet. Did I?
7. When you made the first man, did he work as good as we do now?
6. Why did you make people speak foreign languages? It would be easier if everybody spoke English like you and me.
5. Is it O.K. to talk to you even when I don't want anything?
4. Where did yesterday go? Do you have it?
3. I am afraid of things at night more than in the daytime. So, could you keep the sun on longer? That would be a good thing for me.
2. I know there is a God because I go by his house and see all your cars parked there. What is your favorite car?

And the number one question children have for God . . . .

1. How come you only have ten rules, but our school has millions?

* for those that are curious -- that is me on the right and my childhood friend Tom on the left.

Top Ten Church Puns

What a great morning to walk. Temp in the upper 40's lower 50's with the sun breaking through the morning clouds. Every one seemed in a good mood as they drove past, waving good morning, the birds were very happy and delighted me with song. Thank you God for a great day!

Now on to this morning's Top Ten!

Top Ten Collected Christian Puns:

10. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

9. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

8. Quit griping about your church;if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

7. Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

6. Why change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

5. God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruit of the spirit' over a 'religious nut!'

4. He who angers you, controls you!

3. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

2. We don't change the message,the message changes us.

1. Gospel Mathematics: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4given.

Take a look at number 2 again. How many times have you heard, or said, I know that the Bible says that but I think God will understand? I read an article nearly 20 years ago that had a very catchy title; "When the Text Demands Changing." The author's point was simple, many want to change what the Bible says to fit their preconceived ideas or their chosen lifestyle,
but we are not to change the text, but the text DEMANDS that we are the ones who change. Remember that the apostle Paul lists a number of sins including sexual sins and chemical dependence in 1 Cor 6:9-10 then in 1 Cor 6:11, "Such were some of you." Those Christians in Corinth had overcome some major obstacles. They could sympathize with number 9 on our top ten list - Temptation
bangs on the door.

What was power did the Corinthians have that made their change possible. Simple - the good news of being washed and sanctified in Christ -- 1 cross + 3 nails = 4given.

Scott