What follows is a list of common expectations that describe "The Perfect Preacher." Lists like this one circulate around and are funny only because they touch a nerve.
The perfect preacher preaches exactly 10 minutes.
He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone's feelings.
He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.
He makes $400 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $300 a week to the church.
He is 32 years old and has 40 years experience.
He never forgets a name and spends most of his time praying to God. He remembers everyone's birthdate and of course, their anniversary dates as well.
He also knows when somebody is sick and needs visitation even without anyone telling him about it.
He loves to spend time with his family and the has no problem with you dropping in unexpectedly.
He also spends most of his time in preparation to speak God's Word.
Before and after services, he never fails to speak to each person present and will also take the time to listen to you for 15 minutes and pray for each person no less than 10 minutes after listening to them.
The perfect preacher eats nutritiously, gets his rest, exercises daily, and is always there to listen to you night or day.
He has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens.
He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.
He makes 15 home visits a day, is always in his office to be handy when needed and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.
He spends all day each Saturday preparing the Sunday sermon, and he focuses on his family too.
Now for a serious question: What do you expect from the preacher where you worship? Preachers, how well are you doing as a servant of God and His people?