Showing posts with label marriage advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage advice. Show all posts

Friday, March 5, 2010

Milford and Bessie Minor: Heroes of Marriage

This blog is edited from the Fall/Winter '08 Our Families Magazine published by Faulkner University Cloverdale Center for Family Strengths.  The Minors are members where we attend and I serve as minister.  I asked them around the time of their 73rd anniversary what they would say to couples just beginning their marriage.  Sister Bessie smiled and said, "Tell them to stay together, that love gets sweeter and sweeter every year." Thank you, Barbara, Donald, Gail, Virginia, and Roger for sharing your parents with us. -- Scott 

On September 2, 2006, exactly seventy years since their own marriage, Milford and Bessie Minor were present at the Harpeth Hills Church of Christ in Nashville, Tennessee for the wedding of one of their granddaughters. She had chosen that date to honor the love and commitment that she and the other grandchildren had always observed in the marriage of their grandparents. Milford and Bessie grew up in adjoining communities in rural Walker County, Alabama. Both knew and experienced the difficulties of farm life, especially the rough economic times as the country endured and emerged from the Great Depression. In 1922, times were very dire when Milford, at the age of seven, lost both of his parents in the flu epidemic that spread across the area. He and his six siblings were orphaned when their father, mother, and paternal grandmother died within one week. His father’s sister moved into the home and kept the family together earning what the land could produce. Bessie’s father was a cotton farmer and supplemented his family’s income by making sorghum molasses when the cotton was harvested. In 1930, Bessie’s mother died from
a debilitating illness. As the oldest surviving daughter, Bessie, at age thirteen, became housekeeper for her father and four older brothers and a mother figure to a younger sister and two baby brothers.

The major work on farms recessed for Sundays. The Lord’s Day was a day of worship and visiting other congregations for special meetings, singings, and singing schools. It was at gatherings such as these that Milford and Bessie became acquainted and became part of a group of young people that usually attended such events in the area. As they became young adults their interest in each other grew and they began
seeking time to be together. To visit Bessie, Milford had to walk several miles from his home to hers. Other times they were able to borrow the family mule and buggy for trips to church services and socials.

At the home of the local Justice of the Peace, and with a couple of friends as witnesses, Milford, age 21, and Bessie, age 19, became husband and wife on September 2, 1936. For the first two weeks of their marriage they stayed with Milford’s family. When they found a small house to rent, Milford continued to help his family with the farming and to seek extra work with anyone else who needed a worker. His pay was rarely cash because no one had money; the pay was usually in goods that could be traded. Bessie’s first cook stove was bought with 14 bales of hay that Milford had earned working for his cousin. Other needed household items came from family and friends who had something extra that they knew the newlyweds needed and could use.

In September 1938, two years after their marriage, the first of their five children was born, followed quickly by the other four. The couple recognized that more resources were required to raise and educate their children. To meet the need, Milford and Bessie left the farm and moved into the small coal mining town of Parrish, where Milford found work in the coal mines. Bessie continued her work as wife, mother, and full-time homemaker, but for the fi rst time she had electricity to make some things easier. When a teen-ager, Bessie had been baptized into Christ at the rural Central congregation in Liberty Hill where she had always attended.
When she and Milford moved into town, she became a member of the Parrish Church of Christ where she has been a faithful member since 1941. All of their children were baptized there, and in 1972, Milford, also, was baptized and is today the oldest member of the Parrish congregation where their youngest son serves as
one of the elders. Though slowed by age, and no longer able to lead in the services or teach class, Milford and Bessie are in regular attendance at the scheduled services, gospel meetings, vacation bible schools, and other special services.

Their children remain faithful in the Lord’s church. The congregations their large family attend are scattered in Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama. Four of their children and five grandchildren became
educators working in public and Christian schools. Milford’s and Bessie’s teaching example and influence continue to have great impact on their children, eleven grandchildren, and fifteen great-grandchildren.

When asked how they had been able to endure the childhood hardships, the trials of raising a large family, and be able to establish and maintain a good marriage for seventy-two (73 now) years, the answer was, “It hasn’t always been easy, but we took a vow to love, honor, and cherish as long as we both lived and we know and understand what a vow is.”

Monday, January 11, 2010

Marriage Builders

I found the following list or a version of it while looking for information on unity.  This advice list of eight suggestions will help in marriage and any relationship.

  1. No matter how you feel be courteous.
  2. Do not interrupt each other.
  3. Value each other.
  4. Share the work load (housework, etc.)
  5. Spend time together.
  6. Work harder for each other (in your marriage) than you do for your career.
  7. Accept your differences and celebrate them.
  8. Express love daily in concrete ways.

Image courtesy of Daniel Howell Photography
Have a great week.

Scott

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Building a Great Marriage

I have read a lot of blogs about marriages this week.  Maybe with a new year folks are trying to focus on relationships, that is a good thing.  Last year our oldest niece married and this summer our second oldest niece has a date picked (and a guy) for their wedding, so I have them in mind as I give a little marriage building advice.


Bricks that Build Marriage
  • Love: Eph 5:25,28, 33.  Love includes Trusting Each Other and being worthy of that Trust.
  • Leaving Parents: Gen 2:24.  Consider Marriage Permanent as you enter in.  Do get married thinking about divorce if it doesn't work out.  Plan for and work for success.
  • Learning: Titus 2:4-5.  Learn from those whose marriages are successful.  We have a couple at Parrish Church of Christ who celebrated 73 years of marriage in September.  Her comment, "Tell young couples to stay together, love gets sweeter every year."
  • Letting: 1 Cor 10:24.  Accept the Imperfections and Unchangeable in your spouse. Those annoying habits in marriage were cute, adorable characteristics when you were dating.  Let them remain that way.
  • Lift: Gal 6:2. Appreciate the dependency of marriage.  God made man and woman as each others' companion and helper.
  • Lord: Amos 3:3; 1 Pet 3:7.  We need to make God the center of our lives and of our relationship.  If we are individually trying to please the Lord we will be the spouse we should be.  When we serve the Lord as a couple, then our marriage and family will be what God wants it to be.
Have a great marriage!

Scott

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Top Ten Ways to Show Love

(image courtesy of Daniel Howell Photography)

From the home office just off of AL Hwy 269 in Parrish, Alabama is today's Top Ten Ways to Show Love to your husband or wife . . .

10. Speak Kindly to your love, even when you disagree. - Eph 4:29.
9. Put the one you love first, before yourself - Phil 2:3-4.
8. Write notes to them telling of the love you have for them - Phil 1:3-7.
7. Spend time with them, getting to know them even better, and enjoying their company - Song of Solomon (Songs) 8:6.
6. Build them up in public. I cringe when I hear other men putting down their wives and criticizing them in front of others. (I feel the same when women are men-bashing) - Matt 7:12.
5. Chase your spouse. You had to chase them to catch them, keep pursuing - Songs 3:1-4.
4. Give them and show them R-E-S-P-E-C-T - Eph 5:33.
3. Be affectionate with them - Songs 1:2.
2. Be faithful to them for life - 1 Tim 3:2, 12.
And most importantly, share a common faith in God and
1. Pray together - 1 Pet 3:7.

Scott

Monday, August 10, 2009

Top Ten Keys to a Great Marriage



photo courtesy of http://www.danielhowellphoto.com
From the Home Office in Parrish, Alabama -- Top Ten Keys to a Great Marriage!

10. Communication - Eph 4:26-29
9. Loyalty to each other - Eph 5:31
8. Ability to Cope - Matt 10:16
7. A Sense of Humor - Prov 17:22
6. Understanding - 1 Pet 3:7
5. Humility - Phil 2:5; Eph 5:21
4. Faithfulness - Heb 13:4
3. Commitment to God - Matt 6:33
2. A Forgiving Heart - Eph 4:32
And the Number One Key to a Great Marriage . . . this is not a shocker . . .
1. LOVE - Jhn 13:15; Rom 12:10

Scott

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Marriage Season


I attended Faulkner University as an undergraduate and completed my Bachelors in Bible in 1989. While there many joked about April and May being the month the guys on campus began thinking about what their girlfriends were thinking since the Fall . . . . Marriage. As a minister, I perform a few weddings each year and many of them are during the Summer months. As I was thinking about this morning I thought I would share some advice from my 20 years of marriage. (BTW - The picture to the right proves I am the luckiest man on earth.) This is for the men and women who are not married, who want to be married, who recently married, and who are celebrating decades of marriage. The advice is simple. I guarantee that this advice will help you in your marriage. Are you ready? Here it is:

Be the right person! Profound advice this morning. Take a look at 1 Pet 3:1-7,
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Although Peter is speaking specifically to wives, much of what he says applies to husbands as well. We each need to focus as much, if not more, time on who we are on the inside as we spend on our outside. Below is a list of ten traits that will make me a better husband, and you a better spouse:
  • Be Unselfish
  • Be Patient
  • Have Sense of Humor
  • Be Trusting
  • Be Forgiving
  • Be Honest
  • Be Adaptable
  • Practice Self-Discipline
  • Be Trust Worthy
  • Be Able to Apologize
God Bless,

Scott