Thursday, April 16, 2009

Top Signs You Are Not Reading Your Bible Enough

This list developed from a group of friends on Twitter and a post from House to House Heart to Heart ( ). There were many more posted, but I limited this blog to twenty. I tried to give credit to those who sent them in.

20. You think Tim LaHeye and Jerry B. Jenkins wrote Revelation. (joeysparks)

19. The Bible you recieved at High School Graduation 5 years ago still has pages stuck together. (jrmatheny)

18. You find it under 6 months of Readers Digests and TV Guides. (scottmccown)

17. The binding cracks and breaks when you open it. (jrmatheny)

16. The Preacher calls out Hezekiah 3:6 for his text and you look for it among the minor prophets. (scottmccown)

15. You think, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" is in Proverbs. (GallagherPreach)

14. You think Mel Gibson wrote a Gospel called the "Passion of Christ." (GallagherPreach)

13. You think Sleepy, Doc, and Grumpy were among the twelve apsotles. (TimothyArcher)

12. You complain to the publisher that Numbers should be spelled with a "3" not an "e". (faughfamily)

11. You think the Minor Prophets worked in the rock quarries (or were not good enough for the Majors) (joeysparks)

10. The preacher announces the the sermon text is from Genesis and you check the table of contents. (HousetoHouseHTH)

9. You've heard of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and think they may have had a few hits in the 60's or 70's.

8. You are mad because you cannot find Charelton Heston in the table of contents or the concordance. (HousetoHouseHTH)

7. You think Numbers is a gambler's handbook. (jrmatheny)

6. You turn to Psalms and a WWII savings bond falls out. (HousetoHouseHTH)

5. You think Jezebel is a wonderful name for your baby daughter.(faughfamily)

4. You catch your preteen son reading Song of Solomon and you demand, "Who gave this to you?" (faughfamily)

3. You tell your children bedtime Bible story about King Ahab and a great whale. (scottmccown)

2. When asked who your favorite Old Testament character is you answer, "Hercules." (HousetoHouseHTH)

1. You bet on the outcome of the Battle of Jericho and lose. (joeysparks)

Do you have any to add? Keep it going and keep reading your Bible!


Tim Archer said...

That was a great tweetfest. Some of those are old jokes, but some must have been made up on the spur of the moment.

Thanks for compiling!

Joey said...

Thanks for the compilation. I appreciate the credit, but none of those were original with me, and some of them were even re-tweets. Fun couple of hours...